MSNBC Declares Biden Winner of Tomorrow’s Debate – EVOL

Several anchors on the MSNBC network have declared Joe Biden the unanimous winner of tomorrow’s debate, some 36 hours before the event begins, sources have confirmed. 

“Wow, what a stellar performance I’m sure Biden will have,” said MSNBC’s Lawrence O’Donnell. “Biden is going to make some great points, I just know it, and he’s certainly going to have Donald Trump on the ropes early and often. A lot of people who watch it will disagree, I’m sure, but take it from us. We wouldn’t mislead you.” 

Pundits on the network spent several hours praising Biden’s performance in the debate that will be held tomorrow night. 

“Frankly I don’t see how Trump comes back from whatever happens to him [tomorrow night],” said fellow MSNBC personality Chris Hayes. “The numbers don’t lie, and we’ve got some pretty intense numbers ready to go for Biden after they do this thing tomorrow. You don’t even need to watch it honestly, we’ll just tell you exactly how it goes down.”

As of press time, MSNBC assured viewers that all those times Biden trips over his words tomorrow will be nothing to worry about.

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